The Times’ Jessica Gelt waxes poetic on alcohol-infused ice cream over on the Daily Dish.
Photo: Drunken Udder alcohol-infused ice cream. Credit: Jessica Gelt
Anonymous asked: I suffer from an eating disorder, I usually can turn down food easily but your blog makes me crave cookies so much. Recipe for a quick simple low fat/ low calorie cookie that won’t make me feel guilty after eating it? Please ideas (:
A note from the Writer/Baker of this tumblr:
Pardon me while I step out of the 2nd person. This is not the first anonymous note I’ve received from a reader with an eating disorder asking for guilt-free recipes. I’m way above double digits with those. Why would people turn to this tumblr, one that proudly states “baking and shame” in its title, for advice on low calorie eating, especially in light of an eating disorder? I mean, I’m “ieatbutter” for cryin’ out loud. It hit me—the disorder is isolating and causes people to look to the internet for answers. I’ve got great sympathy for anyone who feels isolated. Ironically, we’ve all been there.
Here’s the truth: There is no guilt-free food because your disorder is manufacturing the guilt. Pie does not come with guilt, nor do cookies, cake, pastry or anything else involving copious amounts of sugar and fat. How you eat, when you eat, and what you tell yourself about the person who is eating, creates guilt.
Food is for sustenance, for keeping us alive and, most importantly, food is for joy. It’s meant to be shared with others, savored for its sensory pleasures, and appreciated for the feelings of closeness it generates between people. This is why we have cake at birthdays. Food itself does not have guilt—we assign it guilt because of something we feel about ourselves.
If you can’t stop eating and find yourself abusing food’s sensory pleasures in order to fill a hole—it’s not because of what you are eating, but *why* you are eating. The internet can’t help you with that, and neither can I as a writer or baker. Doctors can help. Your friends and family can help. You can help.
If you can’t eat because food inspires feelings of guilt and shame, once again, it’s not the food. You can’t eat because of the feelings you’ve assigned to food, feelings about your life, control, lack of it, and shame. The internet (“thinspo” in particular) can’t help. Doctors can help. Your friends and family can help. You can help. I, as a baker and internet humorist, am totally unable to help, except maybe by writing this note.
I love food. I write about shame jokingly. Food has been one of the greatest joys in my life as far as being able to bake it, share it, and eat it myself. I started this blog because someone tried to shame me about what I ate. They tried to tell me that my food didn’t come from the right place, wasn’t prepared in the right ways and was somehow inferior to whatever raw, organically grown, responsibly farmed, locally sourced, fair trade, fair labor, made of 100% quinoa they were eating (kudos to quinoa, by the way—it’s tasty). I got an image of this person in my mind—alone, late at night, sitting in a closet with a face full of cookie dough. Why? Because cookie dough is delicious, everyone loves it, and if they say they don’t they’re lying. There is no superior food. Food we eat for pleasure is just as important as food we eat to fuel our bodies. When the two things combine, it’s magic. There is no guilt in cookie dough, just what we assign to it.
Food is part of joy because it is part of life. If for some reason you can’t find joy in it, please, please talk to someone about it—not an anonymous internet person—a person who will gladly share a piece of cake with you when you are able. Eat responsibly. Don’t eat (or not eat) to fill a void or to try and look a certain way. Eat to live and to celebrate. If this seems hard (I promise that it’s not; I can do it and I’m hopeless at everything), then please, please talk to someone.
Best,
The Baker/Writer (today no shame)
PS: I’ve been asked how to reblog this post. Typically visiting the actual post page will let you if your dash won’t. If you would like to reblog but are unable, feel free to link to it. Also, you may copy and paste, but do link it back here. It might be important for people to know what kind of blog this statement came from.
